I've been trying to figure out how to address this gay bullying, defamation stuff.
I came out at 15. I was a freshman in High School, and I hear I was very brave to do it... I just did what I had to do. I didn't expect to be embraced, nor did I expect the death threats or CONSTANT name-calling that ensued. I dealt with it the best way I knew how to... "you call me a faggot, I'll show you a faggot!"... To this day I still hate that word, along with "queer".
Although this blog is called "Homo and Hag", I really don't like the word homo either.
I am a gay man.
And back then I was a scared and BULLIED gay boy.
There are whole chunks of time that I've apparently blocked out of my memory bank. I cannot remember MOST of my High School experience, except that is was quite miserable. I felt very lonely and coupled with the my appearance (I went through this whole androgyny phase Sophomore year) I had very few friends. Back then, in 1991, we only had Madonna or liberal gay media to show us the way. The mainstream media only covered gay events or pride parades in the most tongue-in-cheek and condescending ways. It was either Drag Queens or Leather S&M Queens, no gray area at all in between. There was no Will & Grace, Ellen was still in the closet, Rupaul wasn't around yet. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" wasn't even a rule yet. Teachers and the school administration turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to what was going on. It wasn't anything new to them I'm sure, since I was definitely NOT the first person to come out in High School, maybe just the loudest? LOL. The few friends I did have were lambasted right along with me for whatever reason.
The fact that gay life has been mostly tolerated in those 19 years since I came out, I'm grateful. We've come a long way, if not still a bit misunderstood by most people. I'm also grateful to have a career where it is beneficial to be a gay man.
Hearing someone say "That's so gay", meaning "That's so stupid" just really gets under my skin. For real. I was asked by my FEMALE client the other day if "this faggot-ass economy" was affecting my business. I'm not even gonna go into what words these are equal to in relation to other minority groups. You know what they are. It really needs to stop. I may present myself as the cool, non-gay gay guy, but I am in fact gay.
Not Queer.
Not a Faggot.
We need to change this vocabulary. It isn't cool or funny.
To a child that IS gay, who doesn't have a thick skin, and most likely a lot of shameful feelings about him/herself, it automatically implies that THEY are STUPID, or less than, or WRONG.
There are soooooooo many other examples I can bring up on this topic, but for the sake of not being provocative, I'm gonna keep it simple...
If you think something is stupid.... just say its stupid.
peace-
Ryan
