Whoa

I just don't know where to begin. Maybe the beginning? Nah... That's boring.

I can tell you that what I've been feeling lately has even a logical person like me feeling a little wobbly.

It's safe to say that there are LOTS of things to look forward to in my future.

It's also safe to say that mending a broken, shattered heart is no easy task.

There's so many pieces that you're bound to misplace a few.

I'm thankful that I've had the time, space, and resources to painfully put myself back together.

The reason I feel wobbly is that I feel like laughing (from joy/happiness) until I start crying. Then I'm afraid if I start crying (from sadness/loss/devastation), I'll never laugh again. Weird paradox.

My logical brain tells me to departmentalize these opposing emotional feelings and feel ONE or the OTHER... not BOTH.

How do you begin the process of healing when you're not sure what's hurting. Obviously my heart hurts, but my brain is just telling it it's supposed to. Which part of my brain do I need to work the kinks out of, so I can move on? Will it ever work the same way again?.... is it supposed to? I can honestly say that Shane dying has rocked my foundation. Even though he was gone BEFORE he was gone. To know that I caused our demise as a couple is a tough pill to swallow. To know that either way things turned out with our relationship, I'd still be without him now... today- just kinda blows my mind. In a really big profound way. Whoa.

Yet still I move forward.

Spiritually, I feel solid. That quest really has just begun and I look forward to challenges and new discoveries about myself and how I relate to other people.

Sobriety, I feel solid. A never ending quest that just feels like the right and only one to be on. Forever. AMEN!

Work is work. I love my job, and I'm always down to take on more... that will come soon enough.

Love... Now that's the tricky one. I've spent my whole life either searching for it, pushing it away, longing for it, crying over it, laughing about it, questioning the existence of it, etc. etc.

Love has brought beauty into my life, and took me into the ugliest parts of my psyche. Taken me on journeys of greatness, and gotten me into so much trouble I'm STILL trying to rectify it.

I am capable of loving again. I know I am. I'm a little bit scared, and a lot intimidated by it though. Taking time is a good thing. I do have a certain someone in mind. I'm fairly certain he likes me, too... Maybe I'm (shocker!!) over thinking things.

I've never really started anything truly romantic while I was sober. I feel in many ways like a teenager. But I have the other, more recent half of my life's experience to use as reference material. Do's and most definitely Don'ts. We'll see how it all unfolds. I think its gonna be good.

I'm in the right place at the right time, for once. I just need to sort out these weird ass feelings swimming around in my head.

Building Difficult Bridges.

The people we hate most are the people with whom our souls came back to make amends.

Today, approach an enemy with an olive branch. There is tremendous opportunity in building the most difficult bridges.



I feel like I have been apologizing all morning!!! I know I am not always the easiest person to get along with, but I also feel that most of the time I AM. I don't ask for much from people and it seems that I am somehow always getting the short end of the stick. I have been (over the past few months) trying to exorcise negative/toxic people from my life but I also realize that I also have to work at not being one myself.

A friend of mine posted this in her blog, and I couldn't agree more--

"If you don't care about me, I'm done giving a fuck. You are selfish and gross and need to grow the fuck up. If you have nothing but bullshit for me you're next."


It's only fair, you know?

Sooooooo, is everyone ready for 2010?

I am.... And for so many reasons.

This time of year always gets me. Up. Down. Reflective. Forward thinking.

I have a lot to be thankful for this past year, and as much as I have had struggles and tragedies personally... I have also learned great strength, patience, and most importantly the purpose of friendship.

I could have EASILY pushed everyone away from me, but as always, my true friends and my family have persevered through all my craziness and stood by me: Being fucked up. Rehab. The long process of beginning to feel like ME again... finding out that the me I DIDN'T like wasn't so different from the me that I DO. Being edgy, and jumping to conclusions. Basically running the gamut of emotions and still they did not write me off.

I LOVE my peeps!

2010 I suspect is going to be full of new beginnings and tying up loose ends, not just for me but everyone. New directions and ways of thinking.

I've seen so much growth in other people this year that I can't possibly imagine that all the hard work some of us have endured would end anytime soon... just maybe a little easier with more emotional payoff.

I look forward to continuing to share these trials with you. Sometimes they suck the big one, sometimes its so worth it at the end of the day you forget there was any strife at all.

For once my goals/resolutions seem attainable and realistic, yet still challenging.

I see a very significant other in my future as well. Life is good!

PEACE- r

Happy Holidays!

pretty on the inside

I absolutely LOVE this article (which was actually brought to my attention by Courtney Love herself posting the link on her Facebook) despite the situation w/her daughter, etc. THIS is the Courtney that I have always loved and admired. Courtney the lyricist.

I am blissed out and blessed beyond belief. I have to keep remembering this. It is easy to lose sight of. But it is true.

Glambert

I think Adam Lambert is adorable, and I like him, but I am not feelin' his music at all. I'm not denying he's a good singer, but something about his voice just doesn't do it for me. He reminds me of Richard Marx. ACK. :/

But I applaud his "ranchy" performance and do think the controversy surrounding him is bullshit, HOWEVER-- it is stuff like this that will keep your career going, because people keep talking. And talking. And talking.

Judgment?

Really tired of the evil eye. My red string bracelet fell off (as its supposed to) a few months ago, and I think I need another one.

Gossip and insults are just people's insecurity about saying what they REALLY feel to your face.

I'm all about sugar-coating if need be, but at least get it out in the open so the accused can defend their self!

Geez!

Hell, I'm as judgmental as the next person, but at least I try to put myself in their place before I start sending them up the river. You never know what someone's motivation is... unless they tell you. I try to be open and sometimes I explain to a fault what motivates me to make decisions about MY life.

I fear retreating into that "other world" where everything is all shiny and happy on the outside, and the inside is a big, fucked up mess.

Been there, done that.

Sorry, had to vent a little.

-r

shorty what yo name iz

I just watched this because I LOVELOVELOVE Beyonce. But I am now thoroughly convinced that B just put Lady Gaga in this video to make herself look better. I mean... Gaga looks like a googley-eyed skinny-ass white girl that can't dance. (AGAIN-- but this time it's worse because she's up next to Beyonce.) If they took Lady Gaga out the video would be way better. I LOVE Beyonce with the Bettie Paige wig! Fucking AMAZING.


Video Phone (Extended Remix) Feat. Lady Gaga

Beyonce | MySpace Music Videos

"In my life, I have prayed but one prayer: Oh lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And god granted it." -- Voltaire

Really?!

I guess it's never too early for drama from a drama queen.

*eyeroll*

I'm gonna tell you about love

I am a 33 year old recovering alcoholic gay man.

I have had 4 significant long term relationships.

Of these 4, I considered 1 a marriage.

My ex husband died last Thursday after a whirlwind 1 week battle with Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Today would have been our 3 year anniversary... had I not been such a drunk last year when we broke up.

I miss Shane. I did when we broke up, and I really do now.

There can never be that hope of reconciliation anymore.

No more "Ta-Da!... See I fixed myself! Don't you wanna work this out??!!"

We met seemingly by coincidence, he walked into my salon suite for a haircut (little did I know that his hair was an obsessive thing for him... I had to cut it every 10 days... LOL).

The instant our eyes met I knew that I wanted to share my life with him, and by the next morning he had sent me an email, a Myspace friend request, and an invitation to have a drink with him.

The only snag was my ex ex boyfriend. Our relationship was on life support, and it was nauseating thinking I couldn't be with Shane, but also ending a 4 year relationship to begin a new one.

So... out with the old - in with the new!

I don't really like to discount my previous relationships, as I've learned a great deal from each of them, but He was the ONE!!!

I wonder if he still is The One.

We moved in together, he bought a house, and we had a dog. We had matching Jeeps, and what appeared the perfect life, working together to make a house a home... like everyone else.

I had a problem though. Shane wasn't perfect, who is? I however LOST IT!

He travelled an immense amount of time for work, and every time he left I went crazy. Not because I wanted to have fun, but because I missed him terribly.

It was all good when he was in town, but he could never be sure when he left if it was gonna be a good or bad trip.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore. He was done. I was fucked up even more because I pushed him away, even though it all started because I was afraid to lose him.

The love part comes into play with all the great times: Vacations, nights out, nights in, etc. The normal stuff.

But what really counts is that no matter how much strife, or anger, or frustration from either of us towards each other... we managed for a long while to figure out TOGETHER how to stay together. There was so much real love that whatever happened in our separate worlds, when they came together it was magic.

My greatest memories are of us just being together, holding hands on the couch, not having to speak. Comfort. Ease. Joy. LOVE.

Going to bed together at the same time. Brushing our teeth and making fun of each other's "getting ready for bed" rituals. (His always took longer than mine!)

Knowing how he liked his coffee, figuring out what he might want for dinner by the sound of his voice on the phone, KNOWING each other. With or without words.

Seeing recognition in each other's eyes and still saying "I love you", just because you like hearing yourself say them to each other.

The greatest gift that Shane gave me was learning how to be a man of honor, keeping your word, and forgiving someone their shortcomings. I have never had a man in my life, romantic or otherwise, that has shown me on a consistent basis how to BE a man. Until Shane.

Thank you my beloved, BEAUTIFUL, most special and precious Shane.

I love you, Hunkin!

peace-

R

I got to save my baby
Because he makes me cry
I got to make him happy
I got to teach him how to fly
I want to take him higher
Way up like a bird in the sky
I got to calm him down now
I want to save his life

And I know that love will change us forever
And I know that love will keep us together
And I know, I know
There is nothing to fear
And I know that love
Will take us away from here

Sometimes it's such a pleasure
Sometimes I wanna tear it all down
It's easy to be lazy
And hard to go away from the crowd

I know the road looks lonely
But that's just Satan's game
And either way my baby
We'll never be the same

And I know that love will change us forever
And I know that love will keep us together
And I know, I know
There is nothing to fear
And I know that love
Will take us away from here

In the blink of an eye everything could change
Say hello to your life now you're living
This is it from now on
It's a brand new day
It was time to wake up from this dream (from this dream)

I know the road looks lonely
But that's just Satan's game
And either way my baby
You'll never be the same

And I know that love will change us forever
And I know that love will keep us together

And I know that love will change us forever
And I know that love will keep us together
And I know, I know
There is nothing to fear
And I know that love
Will take us away from here

Gag Me With A Spoon

I am very irritated about this Lady Gaga situation.

When she first hit the scene, I thought she brilliant, innovative, and was eager to have a new pop-tart to listen to/adore. I did even contemplate that she could possibly be the new Madonna, because she was so "fashion forward" and "artistic" and "creative".

My thoughts about this have changed drastically. Though I almost don't know where to begin.

Let's start with the most shallow & minor aspect-- she's ugly. She's not fat, and that's about all she has going for her. Because she's not fat, she can pile on 10 lbs of make-up and glue on some hair and fit into "fashion" and be called fabulous, but there is nothing fabulous about her unfortunate face.

Okay, that's really the smallest of my gripes and merely catty. The biggest thing for me going anti-Gaga was watching Kylie Minogue videos and realizing that Gaga was TOTALLY ripping her off. The wigs, the space costumes, omg. It was BLATANT. And OFFENSIVE! Kylie deserves so much respect for so many reasons-- (fighting breast cancer and WINNING, longevity in her career though most of her North American popularity has been amongst the gay community, AMAZING costumes and shows, omg) and then for this 23 yr old hag to come along and rip her off & shove herself down our throats while calling herself a "performance artist" and "original" makes me sick. Kylie has worked YEARS to get where she is and this girl is stealing her shit and running with it.

Her VMA performance-- ok, ALL of her performances -- are SO amateur! I know Madonna started off rolling around on the floor in a wedding dress, but Madonna had FIRE behind her. Madonna made marriage look sexy! Gaga just looks WEIRD. And I am fully open to weird, but it's not weird in a good way! I'm shocked that she doesn't completely alienate her audiences when she is covered in blood and hangs herself onstage. It's "performance art" but what is her art? Her vocals go to shit the minute she starts "performing". She is NOT a good dancer at all. She looks very unpolished and rough, like she doesn't practice enough FOR the performance. And she looks like she just throws on a wig and jumps out onstage. Just MESS.

Her speech for the Gay Rights Rally-- while her heart may have been in the right place, just sounded ridiculous to me. Screaming at the President? Really? Just looks crazy and I don't how the President is going to do anything other than laugh or be horrified, and I don't know how that works IN FAVOR of gay rights. I do agree that he SHOULD listen and maybe that was "attention getting" but honestly it just looked embarrassing. And I didn't notice many people acknowledging her plea for acceptance with her comment, "And I love Judy Garland." Just STOP already! We know you're a hag!

I will give her credit that some of her songs are very catchy and I like them, still, even after I stopped liking HER. I will also give her credit for writing her own songs and obviously having DRIVE and ambition to get where she is, but to me, that is where her similarities with Madonna STOP. Everyone thought Britney was going to take over Madonna's reign, (obviously she did not) but does Madonna have to "pass the torch" to every new pop-tart that comes along? There isn't going to BE another Madonna, because Madonna isn't GOING anywhere. Gaga needs to either originalize her game or get the fuck out. She said that her next songs are going to be gothy, it seems more likely for her to become the female version of Marilyn Manson than anything else; shocking for the sake of being shocking.

Yawn.

I'm working on an update, I swear.

Another example of someone being "Fashion Forward"...

This ALMOST makes it all better.

Here's THE AUDIO!! Hilarious!

Kanye has always been full of himself, but to do what he did to Taylor Swift... That was her first VMA award and he STOLE moment from her. I am not a country music fan but Taylor seems to be a very sweet girl and she's only 19. My niece LOVES her. It doesn't matter WHO it was, though, really-- what he did was utmostly disrespectful and tasteless. Karma is a bitch, Kanye. Just like you.

What I can't get over...

...is that this person is supposed to be telling US what fashion is good/bad on his new site? (cocoperez.com if you're looking for a good laugh) WHO would go out looking like that ON PURPOSE?!!

Maybe I'm just old. I don't think that's faboosh or fierce, but maybe he had fun while painting his hands, or getting high on LSD before he got dressed!

Nice Legs.

Catching parts of the MTV Awards...wondering what happened to pants and skirts on female performers???? All evening gown on the top, and only pantyhose on the bottom?

Most of the things I want to post are way too "heavy" for this blog.

So I want to post this, because I forgot to the other day. If you love True Blood AND/OR Depeche Mode, you will LOVELOVELOVE this!! It's an extended teaser for True Blood in which they used the song "Corrupt" but the band is IN the video!

Happy Labor Day!

Good things are happening all around me. I have a happy & healthy child, great friends, great family, some sort of income, a great place to live, an unlimited bus pass, a Starbucks & a 7-11 within walking distance, wifi in my apartment, cable tv, groceries, a clean dog, a happy cat, a cushy couch, cherry coke, magnolia blossoms, a comfy bed, and a Snickers.

I'm happy. I hope you are, too.

So I was thinking about it, and I realized that my job is technically SHOPPING. From home. How fucking cool is that?!

Do you believe we can change the future?...

I'm not gonna lie and say this has been an easy year for me. As we're approaching the end of 2009, I'm beginning to feel reflective (as I always do this time of year).

This year is a bit different, though. A lot is changing not just in my life, but in my family's and most of my friends lives as well.

My sister, Scarlett is getting married to her man, Jon. This is the big one!

I'm extremely excited to introduce myself to the Scarlett DeMoss, and a little sad(?) to say farewell to Scarlett Chambers.

My friendship with my sister began LONG before she can remember. I went with my Mom to all the doctor's appointments while she was pregnant, felt her kicking, and saw the progress of her growing in my Mom's tummy.

Then she was born.... She HATED me! Everytime I held her she screamed, although it probably had more to do with my lack of confidence as a 6 yr old.

We became fast friends. Appropriately named, Scarlett had a mean temper!... and also in true Gemini fashion, her moods could turn on a dime!

She made me play Barbie with her until I was 14, because she was sophisticated enough at the age of 5 to blackmail me by saying:

"If you don't play Barbie with me, then I'm gonna tell EVERYONE you play Barbie with me.."

HUH?? I didn't know how to say no to that.

It wasn't until I finally got something over on her that it stopped. I'm not proud of it, but when she was 8yrs old, she wanted to try my cigarette, and I let her. Then I told her,

"If you tell anyone about Barbie, I'll tell Mom and Dad you smoked!" Crestfallen, she conceded.

What does this have anything to do with changing the future?

Unconditional love and support from my dearest, most special Best Friend Forever, and Sister

helped me get out of the life and track I was on. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and because my family and friends, especially Scarlett never gave up on me, I can be the Brother I need to be for her during the craziness that is planning a wedding.

I know that her life is gonna change forever: A new name, starting her new family, creating new little people that hopefully have the same feeling of dedication and loyalty to each other that we share.

You can change your future. If you stay focused on what's important.

It's not Celebrity shit. Not Politics. Those things fall in and out of favor quickly.

We're here to love each other.

Spread it around!

I love you, Scarlett!!!

peace

R

OMG Perez Hilton is asking on Twitter if he should sue Demi Moore for saying that anyone who supports him basically supports violating child pornography laws. I don't know wtf that's about, but if anyone should be suing ANYONE, she should sue HIM for the HORRIBLE things he says about her daughters. It's one thing to pick on a celebrity, but to go after a kid is just low and tasteless.

I used to really love him; I thought he was funny, and I liked that he said what everyone else THINKS... HOWEVER. There IS a line. And he repeatedly crosses it thinking it will get him farther in his own agenda. I, for one, am no longer interested. And that's coming from a fag hag who once adored him and thought she'd like to meet him. I don't anymore. I don't agree with his "outing" gay celebrities; sexuality is very personal business and it is NOT HIS JOB to out people. I think that's extremely shitty and low. I FULLY support gay marriage, but I think his complete character assasination of Carrie Prejean was shocking in that, I STILL don't know the name of the WINNER of the Miss USA pageant!!! That is ABYSMAL. Why give SO much attention to someone so ignorant? She deserved to not win and be dismissed. End of story. Instead, she's become MORE of a celebrity, and a poster child for her OWN agenda, as well as the right-wing supporters. His overzealousness completely backfired. Sure, she got her crown taken away, but now she's suing to prove that she was de-throned because of her opinions, and YES IT DOES LOOK LIKE THAT'S WHY SHE GOT DETHRONED. I'm sure she had her own problems that were aside from that, but her disagreeing with Perez was the catalyst. He is just a queen with bad hair who wants to be in the starlight-- he's not Oprah Winfrey and he shouldn't have the "power" that he does.

I feel sort of sad saying these things, but I'm over it. I'm unfollowing him and unbookmarking his blog, and oh, BTW? COCOPEREZ?! WHAT A JOKE. YAY a site almost exactly like the original except you bag on people's outfits more! I don't see where a 31 year old man who CHOSE shitty carrot-top orange hair gets off criticizing ANYONE.

Slipping Through The Cracks

So I have this weird neighbor.. he's obviously mentally ill. He looks homeless, even though he's not. He NEVER wears shoes, and Ryan's even seen him wearing a skirt @ the bus stop once. He bears a STRONG resemblance to Charles Manson. But he is always nice and says kind things to me, and I always hold the door open for him if I see him (he never seems to have his key) and I always ask if he's having a good day.. It makes me sad that so many people overlook people like this, just keep going as though they don't exist.

I know I feel this way also largely because my own mother will probably be in this boat at some point, herself. She already carries so many bags around with her that she looks like a bag lady.. And just by looking at her, you can tell she's not right. It's very depressing. My mother is so mentally ill that she is beyond help; she truly needs to be in a home. I am not capable of caring for her; she needs professionals. But she's so ill she thinks that nothing is wrong with her, and due to legalities, she has consistently slipped through the cracks. And she will continue to do so, until she perishes due to lack of care. She cannot properly take care of herself and will not allow anyone to help her. My hands are TIED. I've done everything I can in the way of getting her help and she refuses it, and unless she is homicidal or suicidal, there is nothing anyone can (or WILL) do.

I have had to keep my contact with her at a minimum to preserve my own sanity. I hate having to do that with my own mother, but over the past 32 years, I have learned the hard way that it is the only way it can be done.

It's a gut-wrenching situation all around. I hate to get so serious, but I am a firm believer in mental health awareness, and I want the stigma REMOVED. I want people to stop making jokes and start helping people. I want people to know it's okay to get help for themselves. Getting help is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of bettering yourself.

Here is a link for more information!

awww

Look, Lola's vogue-ing!!

IT"S A CELEBRATION!

I'm lifting my self-imposed Madonna embargo.

FUN!!

Just ONE reason of MANY that I love Ben & Jerry's!

Nostalgia/Forward thinking

My DM review isn't much different than Heather's... so I'm not gonna post it.

However, the concert did remind me of why we still go to see our BELOVED performers.

It really is great to see someone that has provided the soundtrack of your life

taking you back to when you were 13, 17, 22, whatever. They're older, but so are we...

and it's nice that the same song(s) can create a new memory or have new meaning

and be relevant in your life today, in a different way.

Madonna, in particular for me (duh) has this affect every time I see her. To see her perform

a song like Get Into The Groove, Vogue, Like A Prayer, etc. I'm simultaneously taken back to the age I was when it was released, and applying the performance to the man I am today.

Its an odd LOVE/HATE thing for me. I hated Junior High and High School passionately. But then I'm instantly be comforted by a song

that helped me get through those terrible, angst ridden teen years.

So I guess it's okay to look fondly over your shoulder at the past, knowing that you're still walking forward to the next challenge, still filing away memories along the way.

Pay attention to what you're listening to now... because 10 yrs from now it'll be on your Life's Soundtrack, too.

peace

R

In Sympathy

Last night was the 7th Depeche Mode concert that I've been to, and I feel traitorous to say that it was the worst one that I've ever been to. I LOVE THEM, so let me start with that. Depeche Mode is my most favorite band ever. They have been for the past 19 years. So for me, this was a huge deal.

First of all, the venue was crap. It was a nice night, fortunately, but good weather does not make up for the fact that the sound SUCKED (was SOOOOOOOOOO not LOUD enough! I shouldn't be able to have a conversation with the person next to me, much less hear about the PTA meetings the bitch behind us was bitching about to her friend!) and the screens were so tiny, they were worthless. Too small and not enough of them.

The setlist?? OMG. They did 5 songs from the new album, and 3 of them were (IMO) the worst songs on the album. They opened with "In Chains", which is an amazing song BUT it's too slow to get a crowd going. If they had a more upbeat mix of it then it would have worked. I am not wild about "Hole To Feed" or "Jezebel", and "Miles Away" is a good song BUT there are SEVERAL much better songs on the album that would have been amazing live. I was very disappointed that "In Sympathy", "Fragile Tension", "Peace" (WHICH IS EVEN A SINGLE) and "Come Back" were not performed. Oh, and "Corrupt", which is another song that could have been amazing. So ok, aside from their latest album, the rest was pretty much a greatest hits tour. That's perfectly awesome and acceptable, but DAVE DIDN'T EVEN SING on like half the songs. He "let the audience sing". We're not idiots, Dave! We could tell you weren't feelin' it. Shit, I don't think he even remembered the words to "I Feel You", but aside from that the song was done well. "Enjoy the Silence" and "Personal Jesus" were amazing. I liked that they ended with "Waiting For The Night" but I also think a faster song would have been great. I also LOVED that Martin sang "Judas".

To be honest, Martin pretty much carried the show. When Dave would stop singing, you could hear the strain in Martin's voice, as though he were like, "Well shit, someone's gotta sing!" It was Martin or US singing a lot of the time! Dave did swing his mic around in circles and shake his ass at us, but you could tell that something was just missing. It was sad at the end, when Dave said, "See you next time!" and then he said, "See you next time, RIGHT??" Poor Dave. :( I just wanted to hug him and make him a cup of tea. He either wasn't feeling well, is just getting old, or he was high, and I PRAY that it was not the latter.

There was just a huge lack of energy in the show. Usually their shows are PUMPIN' and make you want to dance the entire time. It wasn't loud enough to really get into it. I blame that on the venue, but, I don't know.

Also, $45 for a t-shirt??!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL to the NO. They are $30 on their website, WTF?! I would have paid $30, but NOT $45 for a fucking t-shirt you will be able to buy on eBay for $10 later.

So, yeah, I just wanted to give them a hug. I hope Dave gets to feeling better and that there even IS a next time for them to make up for this one.

DEPECHE MODE

DEPECHE MODE!!! YAY!!!!

Heather and I are both going, so we'll both give reviews after!

peace

R

I love Anderson.

And I HATE Speidi! HATE. HATE. HATE. Typically, I don't bother with "hating" so-called "celebrities". But Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt (prat-- what an applicable last name) are the most despicable human beings I've ever had the misfortune of being alerted to. I know even writing this blog is giving attention to those famewhores BUT, BUT-- watching Anderson Cooper (who I LOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEE) rip her a new asshole is beyond brilliant, so I had to share.

I think its crazy that some Dr. is gonna have to go to jail because

Michael Jackson was a MAJOR drug addict, yet someone with 9 yrs of sobriety

like DJ AM will end up being a cautionary tale about relapse. 2 different stratospheres

of celebrity, I know...but still sad.

I think that whole Jackson Family is really f-ed in the head if they truly

think he was murdered. I mean, that Dr. was crooked, for sure, but

HOMICIDE...really? It's all about the $$$.. Sad for those kids.

I LOVE KYLIE MINOGUE.

With the second wave of Wedding season upon us, and since I primarily make my living making Brides feel like their most beautiful selves on the Big Day, i thought I'd share some images of what A LOT of brides are wanting lately: Classic 1940's... right down to the birdcage veil. I did this Bride last week in "Ryan's Chamber". I tend to lean more towards softer hairstyles, especially for wedding hair. Although 1940's isn't exactly what this is, I always try to give the look a "timeless" feel.

Let's face it, who wants to look back at pictures of their wedding 10 years later and think.."Oh Geez, I totally look 2009!!"

My point is, if it looks timeless now, it'll look timeless later, too.

So, to any potential brides out there... steer clear of Bridezilla hair, trendy accessories are one thing, but add in a trendy hairstyle too, and well..... just think about your Prom.

I'm listening to:

Empire of the Sun

Cassius

Robyn

Kylie Minogue

a great Kompakt Records sampler from Itunes

PNAU ( 1/2 LadyHawke & 1/2 Empire of the Sun)

Kleerup

and....

Not MADONNA.

If anyone knows me at all, they will tell you that to know ME, is to know HER.

I can't explain why I'm not feeling her music right now. I do think dating a 22 year old is just beyond ridiculous and quite frankly, embarrassing.

Is she getting LAZY? Uninspired? Or am I (gasp) finally outgrowing her?

Maybe she's just trying to get that record deal wrapped up so she can give us the real shit!

There's so many inventive and talented people out in the world, it's a shame that she's not at least ripping them off!

With her new collection of "Greatest Hits" dropping soon, she just needs to get in that studio

and follow up that with some KRAZY, inspired, thought provoking shit.

All of the above mentioned people are talented, thoughtful songwriters. I'm hoping Miss M gets back to writing songs that are at least FUN again!

peace

R

I understand that public transportation is a necessary evil, but, I hate it. I do not like getting on the bus and WATCHING a creepy guy not only STARING a girl down and practically jerking off right there, but then he takes his camera out and is trying to take her picture!! I glared at him, and he knew that I saw what he was doing. I wish I'd told him to knock it the fuck off. What a creep. Even worse, he apparently lives on the bus route that I am always on. I can't wait to go and buy some pepper spray!

What are you listening to??

Lately for me:

Depeche Mode
Empire of the Sun
Bat for Lashes
Ladyhawke
Madonna (ALWAYS)
Robyn
Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Can He Cook?

Tonight I cooked dinner, and suffered the insufferable taunting of one who typically does not cook. In other words, no one trusts my Hamburger Helper. This in itself does not bother me. I am a writer, a hairstylist, a feminist, and occasional romantic, but I am not a chef.

Sometimes, when I lie awake, broke and hungry, I dream of food, eyes wide open. I salivate at the ideas of making my own Shepherd's Pie, sushi, jasmine rice, vegetable egg rolls, cheesecakes, and succulent curries. I have many cooking websites bookmarked, and recipes saved in “My Documents”. But it is only a sort of food pornography; things I fantasize about and that would realistically be, beyond amazing, but they are (more often than not) fanciful and just something to drool over.

The non-cook who sometimes fancies the idea of cooking (and always fancies food) must not only come to terms with their lack of ability, but must find a way to survive without being incessantly connected to Fast Food Life Support. Therein lies the task of finding Someone, (preferably a mate) who DOES cook. I believe that is how one finds true love-- there has to be balance, yin and yang. If you both cook, there is no room in the kitchen. It adds to the fairytale aspect of the relationship. One is starving, the other rescues with the Almighty Spatula.

So I am on my quest to find my Knight in Shining Teflon; the anti-boy, a true man who can put on an apron and get busy for his pseudo-foodie, feminist counterpart. Is he man enough? And moreover, can he cook?

Chunky

As the work week chugs along, I keep asking myself ..."what are they gonna want to look like this week?"...

With the internet gossip sites and all the weekly trash mags, looks change very fast these days. However, there is one look that keeps refusing to go away, the "Chunky Layer" First, let me say this is where proper vocabulary with your hairdresser is essential. Much like a "Nucular Weapon" there is no such thing as a "Chunky Layer".

Every time I hear it, I think of Joan Crawford cutting poor Christina's hair off after the setting lotion incident in "Mommie Dearest"

... or when the blond girl in "16 Candles" gets her hair locked in the door and her friend has to set her free.

So...

An accident? Yes.

A Hairstyle? Nope.

Words to use are: Defined, Textured, Disconnected (my personal fave), and if all else fails... Shattered ( I know this one is reaching, but your stylist will know).

I'm really pushing for this "hairstyle" to finally go to the vault along with

"The Rachel", "The Meg Ryan" and of course the most recently

retired "The Victoria Beckham".

Hopefully, this good advice.

Have a beautiful week!

peace

R

Yes it will be, Heatha! We were wondering why Perez Hilton could be so influential for just sitting around on his fat ass, ripping people to shreds. We strive to find that answer... and so much more!

PEACE!

R

Testing!!! This will be a blog of titillating fortitude.



HA