Catching up.

Someone said to me recently "...maybe you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now, you're not catching up to anything..."
This was said in response to my statement "I'm just playing catch up right now with my life...blah,blah, etc."

It has occurred to me after a lengthy conversation with a dear friend this evening that in matters of having "grown up" responsibilities, I really just skated by for years just holding it together enough to get by.
When you use any kind of drug: Alcohol, Narcotics, WEED, and in my friends case Prescription Drugs (systematically prescribed and switched around for years) your emotional development is halted. In my case that was 17 yrs old. When I stopped drinking and drugs at 28 it took me a year and half to feel normal. I had to grow from 17 to 29 in a very short amount of time. Fortunately when I did start halting my emotional growth again I was 31. It was a quick turnaround to get back on track.

That said, I can also say that with my 18 month milestone coming up, I have definitely felt the need for upgrades. I'm worth the re-investment in myself.
My working life is always on target and I've never felt a better fit than where I'm working now and what I'm doing with my wedding business.
I just bought a car, I'm moving to an apartment that is much better suited to me both aesthetically and geographically, and in terms of romance... well, I'll just say I'm definitely interested in someone. He may or may not be available. But I'm kinda betting he's worth the wait. So.... I will wait.

All this "catching up" business was done years ago. I am only moving forward. Crossing one finish line to make it to another. I'll go it alone if that's the way its meant to be. But I'm hoping to have a partner to help along his way, too. Goals and plans are great when you have someone to share the rewards of your hard work with.

Plus there's a special little guy that I will have plenty to teach, and help my sister and brother-in-law whenever they need it. Uncle Ryan is always on call! The same goes for my brother's 2 daughters and son. If I cannot make my own children, then I will do my best to be there for them. MUCH love.

Caught up.


peace-
Ryan